i am woman, hear me rawr!

In one of my other blogs, I once wrote a post about how Bubba has been my teacher of life’s most important lessons. Today, I am reminded of it. I’ve been struggling these past few days with so many overwhelming tasks and things to do which have left me overtired and stressed beyond imagination. Add to that the fact that I am missing people and things around me a little too much. One of the few things that have kept me afloat is Bubba and for that, I’m truly grateful. He is truly a bright ray of sunshine no matter how dismal my day may be.

I really have learned so much from him, as I stated in my post before, but today I am reminded of this note from my Facebook page that I was tagged in by my friends at Project Lightning Kennel

A dog teaches us a lot of things, but we never seem to take notice.

These are some of the lessons you might learn… Read the rest of this entry »

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On the way home, I found myself wallowing (yes, melodramatic much) in that old familiar pit of self-pity and sadness. On one hand, I do know these are but necessary pains that serve some sort of purpose in my life, even though it can be so damned hard to see at the moment in which it happens. On the other, I truly hate how it takes away my bright sunshine and leaves me caught in the midst of darkness.

As is customary when I find myself caught in the midst of internal chaos, I found myself holding my breath in discomfort, fighting back tears that cognitively, I knew were illogical. But as always, emotions got the better of me. So I did what I always do when I feel overwhelmed by emotions: I began to write and acknowledge those thoughts and feelings that were around.

photo by Iris Acosta

Every once in a while, just like tonight,  I find myself wishing for a myriad of things, many of them contradicting each other, often times these are irrational and in my head, I know they are illogical, but they’re there but bottom line, they all stemmed from one thing: that I was just so tired of  feeling like I give too much of myself…to people who don’t matter, to my work,  to tasks or things around me that demand too much of my time and energy….and what I was getting in return was either not what I expected, or enough to reciprocate what I had spent, especially on those who don’t deserve it in the first place.

And so in the secret recesses of my heart, I had wished…

…thatI lived in a bubble where I had nothing to care about, or care for for that matter. In that bubble, albeit alone, I would know no loneliness because I wouldn’t know any better….

…On the other hand, I wished that if I wasn’t in that bubble, I had someone to watch over me and to take my hand and walk with me so I didn’t have to go through life’s journey all alone, even though I can do it myself…

…that I didnt care so much and that it didnt hurt so much to actually care because I really do…

…that I had someone to wake up next to, whether I wake up to bright golden sunshiny days or dark gloomy ones…

…better yet, I wished I didn’t have to wake up to another day that was bound to be the same….

…that I didnt feel so lonely way too often, because in the depths of my heart, I do know I am not alone and that yes, people actually do care about me even if I have difficulty believing that…

But at the end, as I held back bitter tears, I wished most that I didn’t wish for any of those at all.

When I finally  made it home, I was greeted by a welcome sight: my Bubba running to meet me, tail wagging like mad, reminding me that there is so much I keep missing out on whenever I get stuck in that little rut that I keep falling in to. Before I got home, I was feeling very tired and I had thought to myself, how can I manage to walk Bubba if I feel this way? However, seeing him I was reminded that if I keep wasting my energy worrying about, caring for and reacting to things that are unnecessary and pointless, I will have nothing left not just for myself, but for the people and things that truly matter. While I would wholeheartedly go out on a limb for those who are worth it, I had to remind myself (or should I say I had to be reminded ) that not everyone deserved what I was giving them. And just because I don’t give equally of myself to all, or perhaps give any to some, this doesn’t make me selfish or mean or insensitive. It just makes me better for myself and for those that really count.

And so I took a time out to be still and to listen to my soul. And of course, to breathe through it all.  I turned off my phone, stayed offline, walked with Bubba, hooped a bit, and worked on Project Sunshine. When I was feeling a bit more settled, I went online met up with the Sheriff, and found a couple of  pleasant surprises in the form of random messages and comments or affirmations that I was not expecting. Yes, I found little reminders that somewhere out there, even without me knowing it, even without me asking for it, and even without me having to create it for myself, there are people out there sending me bright bits of sunshine.  All I have to do is to spread my arms out wide, receive it and believe it’s there.

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We all know how much my Bubba is the highlight of my life, right? He makes all the tiredness, hurt, sadness and darkness in my life go away by simply being there beside me. I swear he’s super protective of me, and at times, kinda selfish. He hates it when I play with other dogs or things he thinks will take his place. For example, sometimes when I hug my pillow, he barks at it and tries to make siksik between me and the pillow. I promise this dog is so crazy!

Today, my cutie patootey niece Arianna was here at home again and although he and she got along just fine all afternoon, when Yanna woke up from her nap and came to me, he started barking!!! To be fair to Bubba, he never attacks, he just barks. Really loudly. Super seloso I swear!!! And so today’s thought bubble is dedicated to my Bugoy I bet that’s what goes through his mind whenever I show affection to something/someone else!

18/365

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I feel so bad….

These past two weeks have been so hectic I haven’t had time to spend with Bubba. With the exception of our day out together, I haven’t really been able to attend to him much. Even our daily walks are rushed, at times, like today, completely forgone. Instead of being able to be a good mommy to him when I get home, I still have to rush reports, work on articles and make slide show after slide show for my classes. Don’t get me wrong: I love my work but I guess I am not doing very well with time management, hence the pile up of tasks that is overwhelming me.

I hope by this weekend I sort things out. Scratch that: THIS WEEKEND I WILL WORK ON SORTING OUT MY SCHEDULE!!!!

Now I understand the guilt mommies say they feel when they have to go to work and leave their kids at home. Just last week I was talking to a friend who is abroad and she was telling me how difficult it was making the sacrifice of being away because she’s trying to work on a better future for the family. *sigh*

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I finally was able to fulfill a long-standing dream of mine, which is to take Bubba to Bonifacio High Street. I’ve always been hesitant to do so because he tends to pee on whatever bush or post he sees, which is typical since he’s a male dog. I’ve always used a poop bucket for him, so that’s never been a problem, but the peeing….well…

Anyway, last Sunday there was a Pet Club event hosted by Hobbes and Landes and I figured it would be the best time to take him. I was a little bit iffy because of the weather but I didn’t wanna dissapoint Bubba because he seemed excited about our trip. So I ended up going and I’m glad I did! He was smitten by this 10 month old lab named Misha! Besides that he got to play around with other dogs and also tried some agility training exercises, although he kinda got a bit nervous at first and had a bout of stage fright!

During the event I got to talk to the obedience and agitlity trainer, Domingo Juan, and he told me that despite Bubba’s age, he can still be trained to get rid of that peeing behavior. One way, he said, was to not feed and limit water intake the day before to the day i take him out. Also, behavior modification can help. I am quite interested in enrolling Bubba in his training classes but he requires 3-4 sessions a week, and I can’t commit to that schedule because of work.

After the tiring exercises, I treated Bubba and my brothers to Fridays. Of course we ordered ribs because of him!!!!

One thing I noticed, however, is despite how massive Bubba looks, he’s tiny compared to purebred labs

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BF Homes, Parañaque just keeps getting better!

In my village newsletter recently I found a flyer for the Cassandra Care Animal Home. At the time I got it, they were offering (if I read it right!) free rabies vaccinations for dogs in our village. Unfortunately (or should I say fortunately) I had already gotten Bubba’s shots updated. However, because they offered ambulance and emergency services for pets, I tacked the flyer to my refrigerator.

Today, as I waited for my lunch to heat up in the microwave, I stood by the ref and read it. And the magic words popped out: “Pet Studio” and “Master & Pet Suite”.

For those who are my friends in Facebook, you may recall that just the other day I posted a shout-out that I was hoping for a “My Pet and Me” photo shoot. However, given my limited funds right now, it’s not a priority.

Also, if you have been reading my

blog, you know how important Bubba is to me, right? I have been longing to find a hotel where pets are allowed, so seeing the Master and Pet Suite in the flyer was interesting to me.

However, as I read their website I think it’s more for confinement purposes (i.e. pet operation) rather than a hotel, although their website describes the facility as “a place for your pets to recover from illness and surgery, as well as a second home for your pets while you are away” . Nonetheless, it’s great to know there is a dog hospital nearby where I can stay with him if necessary.

Browsing the website some more led me to this:

PET GROOMING, SPA AND MASSAGE

Every pet needs a thorough cleansing/bath and a haircut, and occasionally, a relaxing massage.  Our pet Jacuzzi will pamper your pet even more.

• Breed-specific hair styling treatment

• Medicated bath

• Nail clipping, tooth brushing, ear cleaning

• Anal sac draining

• Pet acupressure and hydromasssage

• Only the finest salon and spa products are used

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As the temperature continues to rise, we all are feeling the brunt of Mother Nature and no, Bubba is not exempt from it. I feel so helpless when I see him breathing hard because of the heat and how uneasy he gets as he tries to find a cool spot to rest in. Then I remembered that I once saw a dog cooling vest in a store somewhere here in Manila but I couldn’t afford it. It was around Php 5,000.  However, as the heat intensified, I began to reconsider that decision.

I turned to the ever trusty Google search engine and typed in dog cooling vest then I saw a whole bunch of options. All, however, still ranged from $50-100 plus shipping. I was set to get the Php 5,000 one but then inspiration struck! I remembered that I was able to avail once of a six pack chill-bag from Kamiseta (when they still had promos for purchases made!). I filled 2 water bottles with ice (I also prepared some in the freezer! Now I have several empty plastic bottles that have iced over!) and stuck it in two of the sleeves. In the middle, I put one of those resuable ice packs.

Violá! My own cooling pack…all for free!!! I tried it for a while and it did help make me feel cooler. I put it against Bubba and I think he was relieved. I liked how the chill bag didn’t get soggy and wet ( I had tried a pillowcase once, but ended up making a mess because as the ice melted, well…you get the point!) although it did get damp.

The only drawback of this compared to a vest is that I can’t strap it on him. The vest would be great for a beach trip or a walk when it’s hot, don’t you think? Hopefully I can find a more affordable option soon.

For a homemade product, however, I’ll give this an A for effort!

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I remember the first time I took Bubba to the beach. He had a blast. However, by the time we got home, he was running a very high fever and he could barely walk. I thought it was just exhaustion or perhaps sore paws because he was not used to the sand. But by the next morning, his fever was worse and he couldn’t stand anymore. I rushed him to the vet and found out that he had cut up his feet REALLY BADLY by climbing the rocks in front of La Luz beach resort in Laiya. We had fun climbing up and getting our photo taken, but I didn’t realize the repercussions of it to his feet.

The vet gave him antibiotics, both oral and via injection and instructed me to treat it with a skin antibiotic. Since then, whenever he would get hot spots or wounds, I would use the same skin antibiotic and it worked fine.

However, earlier this year, I joined my blogger friend Earth’s blogversary contest and I won a pot of Pawnacea All-Natural Paw Balm from Project Lightning and since then, it has become Bubba’s new healthy skin buddy! Whenever I notice a hot spot starting in Bubba, I treat it with a small amount of balm and it really makes it better in no time. I’ve been trying to document this in photos but I’ve never had the opportunity to do so, but in general, it took about 2-3 days for the spots to dry up and heal.

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