Today I was reminded about how much I love my job. Think of it: I get paid to play, have fun and be silly 
Woot. While there are some hardships that come alongside being a preschool teacher (especially waking up soooo early in the morning) the upside is that when I’m with the kids, I feel pure joy. And I am reminded of what is essential in life. I am grateful today that my passion for teaching has been rekindled.
16/365
yep….that’s all I can think about tonight….why oh why do I do these things to myself?!? I mean, isn’t it hard enough to teach a class? Now I decide to teach teachers how to teach a class?!? Whutwasithinkin.
I’m kidding. I know I can do it but I still can’t help sweating buckets and feeling woozy from hyperventilating and queasy from these butterflies in my tummy right about now.
15/365
Today I woke up to not only a beautiful day, but a more rested self after weeks of struggling with a lot of angst and darkness. The sun was shining brightly and I could feel it’s warm rays pour in through my window and unlike my customary “crap it’s morning” feeling, I actually smiled. It was a good morning.
I got up and gave in to my Bubba’s request to take him for a morning walk. I threw on some clothes, put on my iPod and got going. I grabbed my phone, as I usually do, so I could stay logged on while we walked, but at the last minute, I felt the urge to just leave it behind…and for once, I listened.
As I walked I whispered a word of thanks for the sun and for it’s warm embrace. Yes, I love the sun! I love how it’s warmth seems to reach to the very core of me and make me feel like I am being held in a big, tight hug. It wasn’t long before I felt a sense of peace and calm take over me and something in me told me to keep walking and listen. After two rounds around the village park, I waked Bubba home and went on to walk some more. I walked so long, I think I got tanned from the sun!
It’s been a long time since I had that insatiable need for a walk and at first, it kinda surprised me. While I do recognize that I have really stepped up my weight loss efforts, today’s walk was not fueled by that, but by a stirring of something inside me. In hindsight I recognize it now as my Dark Night, coming by to remind me to be still, to listen, to believe, to trust, and to stop questioning.
As I walked, I just focused on my breathing and just let my mind go blank, which is something I usually struggle to do (such as right now…thoughts colliding and going at warp speed!). And in my letting go of everything in my head, the darkness started to lift and the sun shone through. It warned me, however, that this doesn’t mean that the darkness is not going to be around, hovering in the nearby distance, but that I can make some space between us where both the darkness and light can co-exist in peace, knowing that both of them are essential elements in who I am.
And in those moments of silence with just me, my soul and I, I was reminded to just breathe and to not dwell on things that need not to be dwelt upon. Being by myself allowed me to understand, accept and make peace with what is, without struggling, without asking or questioning and simply trust that everything is as it should be, just because that’s the way it is and that even if it seems unclear to me right now, I will look back one day and see how right it was for me.
I took that feeling with me for most of the day, but towards the evening, as always, my nighttime thoughts come to hound me and just when I felt I was getting unhinged, the Universe sent me a gentle reminder…“The outside affects the inside. Just as the inside affects the outside. They’re all connected”.
14/365
There are no words to describe who overwhelmed I am with gratitude today. It wasn’t a perfect day, mind you, but for some reason, the only thought that keeps popping in my head, and more so, in my heart, is how grateful I am that I have been so wonderfully blessed in spite of all the challenges that keep popping my way.
I am grateful to my kids who brighten up my day every morning, no matter how much of a struggle it is to wake up in the morning, and to the people who make me feel that, despite what I think, I am a lovable human being.
I am grateful for my Bubba who teaches me day by day what it really means to love unconditionally and for the joy he brings to my life, even though he smells at times
I am grateful for twists and turns and detours in my life’s journey that often lead me to the most wonderful, beautiful and meaningful experiences in my life.
And in the words so wisely gifted to me last night by someone I am forever blessed to know: I am grateful just because.
(oh…and dear cowsins: hindi…hindi boyfriend yun, pwede. I’ll tell you when it happens, I promise!)
13/365
When I woke up this morning, I was determined to find, or at least try, something to quell yesterday’s super, duper bad mood and I told myself that no matter what, I will smile, even if it killed me. So I did my best to get all dolled up and pretty, slapped on a smile and headed off to work. Before that, I sat down and wrote one of the longest letters I have written in a long time. A soul-baring, deeply honest letter. When that was done, I started to “feel” the smile creep in…not just on my face, but on the inside too.
Smile, Tita Ri. It works.
Oh, and positive affirmation from around sure helped to0
12/365
Yes, I know patience is a virtue…..
*sigh*
Lost my temper again today with a series what seems to me to be “little” things that people should know without having to be told….
Little things like not parking in the driveway…..
Waiting your turn and not making gitgit when driving….
Questions that don’t need to be asked….
etcetera etcetera.
gah…sungit mode today.
11/365
Much as I am loving this Project Prettify Me, every once in a while I have to ask myself why on earth do I keep insisting on wearing them darned shoes!!! But like I always say, it’s a small price to pay Now I gotta go to bed and prop up my feet. Ouuuuchieeeeeeee….
10/365
It’s that time of the term again: computing grades. I haaaate it!!! 
Spreading some happy cheer around, for me and for everyone else.
9/365
