i am woman, hear me rawr!

I used to love going to the grocery. It used to be a fun place for me as a child, but I guess as you grow up and the bills become yours, it takes on a different meaning haha. Seriously though, for some reason the grocery seems to tap into a lot of my negative emotions…from attachment to food, frustrations regarding parenting, impulse control and so on and so forth. I don’t know, but there are some groceries that really just tap into my pet peeves. For example, it frustrates me when the grocery I go to has one of those fashioned registers without those barcode scanners. It takes so much longer for the cashier to ring up purchases after all, right? I mean, that’s why these things were created in the first place, to make things much, much easier. Also, it frustrates me when groceries constantly rearrange and move products from one aisle to another. Sure it’s okay if you’re making space for new products but to change aisles from week to week is simply annoying!

Yes…this post is coming from the fact that I have to go to the grocery  now. Haha. I’m off. Wish me luck.

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I’ve never been a big fan of lazy, rainy Saturdays. I’m not the type to curl up in bed with an ebook reader an a hot cup of cocoa on such days. While some people long for it — thrive in it for that matter — I hate it to bits.  It is the kind of day that challenges me to bits and makes me feel lost and confused about many things around me. Or at least it used to

Today, except for the 90 minutes I spent in a yoga practice, I literally spent the day doing nothing but curl up in bed with Piper (my iPad) and just read through random stuff. Oh such a lazy, rainy day I tell ya. And I guess unlike most rainy days, this wasn’t so bad

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In as much as dreams terrify me, there are some that simply make so many things so clear to me. In the past two weeks I have been dreaming a whole lot and yes, there were those days wherein I’d wake up with my heart racing and I’d be in tears from such terrible nightmares. Today, however, I took an unexpected nap and had quite an interesting dream.

Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow".- Mary Anne Radmacher

In my dream, I woke up to a beautiful day. One that was so perfect for a yoga practice. That morning, I decided to try something new for a change, and so I went somewhere I didn’t really know and allowed myself to face a challenge. I drove to this beautiful place (I don’t know where it is and I don’t really know if it exists in real life). On the way there I was a little apprehensive, mainly because I didn’t know where it was but on the other hand, I was very excited because I was supposed to meet someone when I got there (who, I don’t really know but I felt that I was excited about it). I got there a little early, as I always do whenever I go out to do things and everything went well. When it was time to go home, I was tasked to follow this lady (who strangely seemed to me like Wonder Woman, except for the costume haha) and I had to be attached to her with this string that was wrapped around her waist and then connected to mine. As we walked, I felt that string get heavier and heavier and as we walked, she kept on going faster and faster and I couldn’t keep up. From time to time, I’d lean back so as to pull on the strap that connected us to slow her down and for a bit, she would but then she’d speed up again soon afterward, and she’d go so fast again until I could barely stand up because of the strap between us. And so I pulled and I pulled and I pulled until she turned to me angrily and said what the hell is the problem and I, cowering in fear, only had one word to say…I’m sorry. That got her even more riled up and she asked again what the problem was and why was I pulling her back because she was losing her balance when I’d do so. I tearfully explained that I couldn’t keep up and she looked at the way the strap was connected and said, you know, all you had to do was tell me to slow down and I would have. Suddenly that string that was so heavy and long already suddenly became very short and light. So much so that I didn’t have much to hold on to anymore, but we were still connected. At this time, we walked almost side by side then when I looked up at her, her face had changed…. she wasn’t like Wonder Woman anymore but she was this warm, kind woman, very much like a yoga teacher I once met, who had a beautiful smile and had warmth radiating in her eyes. She no longer looked like that physically strong domineering woman, but neither was she a weak and frail one. And she turned to me and said, remember, sometimes all you need to do is ask. Read the rest of this entry »

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Oh hai there pretty blue sweater

Pretty, right? There’s quite a funny story behind that sweater, let me tell ya. It started out from a random shopping expedition with my yoga teachers and friends after class yesterday morning. One of my teachers was like, wait, come with us, I’ll show you a place that has really nice stuff for yoga. And of course, kaladkarin me came along. Gawd…love I saw the blue sweater already and I wanted to get it but I stopped myself because I really didn’t need it after all. I did get myself a yoga top and a pair of pants though teehee.

Anyway, I went home and got ready for work. For some reason, I decided to wear slacks instead of the usual dresses I wear for school and topped it off with a blouse. On my way to school however, I had a fashion emergency. Seriously…as I reached for something in the back seat, I heard my shirt go riiiiipppppp…..and no…it wasn’t a small tear like the kind that you’d only notice if you had a magnifying glass or decided to look through those ncstar binoculars haha. It was a BIG rip on the side body. Egaad. And for some strange reason, I did not have a cardigan, a shawl or a cover-up available in the car, as I often do.

And so something my yoga teacher said earlier that morning hit me: there’s a branch of this store in Cash and Carry, you can always pass by on your way to school. And so there…I had a reason to get the pretty blue sweater.

Teehee.

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