Today I went to yoga.
Haha. Yes, I did two classes today because I’ve been feeling a bit unsettled and troubled about a whole lot of things going on in my head. No, I haven’t lost my mind, but seriously, there has just been so much work pending that I can barely think straight. So today I really took the whole day to just be. I allowed myself to be “lazy”, knowing full well that this laziness is what my body needed. I allowed myself to listen to that urging in me to go to yoga, and even paid attention to the headache that plagued me all afternoon. Most of all, I allowed myself to feel the gamut of emotions swelling inside of me, knowing that while anger is such a wasteful emotion, it is necessary at times because the waste has to be expended. And as I did, I allowed myself to cry.
I realized because I didn’t fight it so much, it wasn’t as difficult. Sure, I felt the urge to run to the familiar, which is to pop a pain reliever or two. I wanted so badly to scarf down a bag of peanut butter M&M’s too. But I didn’t. And so I went to yoga. Twice as I said. Haha.
During my evening session, my teacher started the class with some wise words: pay attention to your emotions and thoughts, watch it, acknowledge it, and don’t work on changing it right now because there’s nothing you can do about it now but to just be. And I realized that that is so true about life in general. Here we are always searching for easy answers, quick solutions, we stuff ourselves with pain relievers and down diet pills and hgh supplements just so we can be what we think we have to be, and so we forget to JUST BE. And as we fight so much to fit in to the molds we set for ourselves, or challenge ourselves to do more than we can, we lose sight of the essentials.
And so tonight I remind myself to just be.