It’s the Little Things…

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters - whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished...Stop being who you were, and change into who you are. - Paulo Coehlo

In the past few weeks, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking (and feeling, I suppose) about the direction of my life and the decisions I’ve been making that have led me to where I am. What dawned on me was that it always has been the little things that happen in my life that really cause the greatest impact. Why do I call them little things? Well, for one, these are the things often unplanned.

I think for most of us — well, scratch that, I’ll speak for myself — I think for me I’ve always been the type who wants everything planned out and clear before I make a choice. However, every now and then, life throws me a curve ball and reminds me that no matter how much I plan things, there are many, many other variables that I have no way of controlling. Often times, they come as little things: such as not getting something I was expecting, a promotion falling through, a gut feel of discontent, small displeasure that grows, mediocre performance that is unlike my usual…

It’s not that these are bad things, but for someone like me, it can indeed cause me to feel like I’m on shifting sands.

Come to think of it (whoops…did I just use the word think again? Told ya I’ve been thinking a lot these past weeks!), I suppose in many ways facing change is really like being on shifting sands, right? More so, when I pause a bit, I realize that the shifting of these sands never, or at least very rarely, happen in an instant. It’s all the little things that affect it:  a digging from one end of the beach, a shift in tides, the phases of the moon….

So today I take the time to recognize all the little things that have greatly impacted my life, both good and bad and remember that despite the uncertainty, discomfort, and lack of clarity they may have caused me at one point or another, they have all been essential to leading me to where I am today.

And now that I am at the throes of another shifting of sands, I’m trying to be more mindful about these, and how I react to it. Yes, I am on the verge of making very important life choices and these past few weekends have helped me realize that a lot. One of these things is finally admitting that teaching my kids, in as much as I love it to bits, does not fit me anymore. In my heart, I know I will miss it a lot but I am at peace with the decision because it is time to focus on my passion: writing. Yes, I will write….

To some degree I suppose this is a shift to the mental health care career I’ve always wanted but has remained unattainable because of the elusive letters behind my name. Maybe I’m really not meant to be the psychotherapist (I gave up the psychiatrist dream a long, long time ago and thought psychotherapist would be good enough!) I envisioned in my head, but perhaps it is through writing that I can fulfill that dream. Maybe it is my gift of the written word that can help someone heal and find themselves, just like other writers have helped me. So while I am uncomfortable with the lack of a clear definition right now, I will look at all the little things, the subtle signs and quiet hints that come my way.

Speaking of the little things….last night, I said it out loud for the first time….I quit my job. Well, tendered my official resignation is more like it, but the point is, I can now say it out loud with certainty (albeit with a twinge of sadness, but no pain) that I am saying goodbye to Teacher Ria once again.  Miss Ria, on the other hand, is here to stay.

photo by Mark Cerbo

  • #1
    Posted by Sassy Mom on October 8th, 2010 at 10:04 pm

    Good luck, Miss Ria on this new chapter.
    I ca truly relate on the planning part, I always want things planned but sometimes things happen beyond our control.
    As long as you enjoy what you’re doing… You’re bound to gain happiness and success will come along.
    I’ll be cheering for you… Mwah!

  • #2
    Posted by Julie on October 8th, 2010 at 10:07 pm

    Awww… very timely my sms to you this afternoon 🙂

    I wish you the best Ria and remember that we are here to cheer on you and extend a hand should you need one :))

  • #3
    Posted by imom Chats on October 8th, 2010 at 10:09 pm

    Good luck, Ria, as you move on to to discover who you are. 🙂

  • #4
    Posted by yapatoots on October 8th, 2010 at 10:22 pm

    thank you dears 🙂

    i must admit, my stint with the poc, meeting the rest of the mommy bloggers (oo unofficial mommy blogger ako mwahahaha!) showed me a whole new side of me i never allowed to exist…and i think it is but fair for her to find her place in this world. i will be the first to admit i never thought id hang up my teacher ria hat again (i did that in 2006-2008) but now i know it really doesn’t fit anymore.

    thank you for cheering me on and wishing me luck on this new phase of my life journey. it is a comfort knowing that!

  • #5
    Posted by Cookie on October 8th, 2010 at 10:43 pm

    Change never starts out easy. But knowing you the way I do, nothing can stop you from fulfilling whatever you intend to in this new phase of your life. Kayang kaya mo yan! Good luck, Miss Ria! And you are most welcome to the the club (of mommy bloggers) 🙂

    On a side note….I love your trolley bag!!! San mo binili!! Gusto ko din….hahahaha 😛

  • #6
    Posted by yapatoots on October 8th, 2010 at 11:00 pm

    awww thanks cookie 🙂 kamiseta yan! cutie no!!! hehe

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