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It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

*sigh*

one on hand, it's the most wonderful time of the year.....on the other, bah-humbug!

I’m going to go all Scrooge-y for a moment and take a moments pause from all the overwhelmingly inspirational posts I’ve been sharing lately to acknowledge a wee bit of not-so-happiness I am feeling right about now. Today I spent roughly four hours in my car sitting stuck in traffic. It seemed that there was no escape from it, no matter where I went. One thought that popped into my head (well, one of the so, so, so many thoughts that popped in!) was this:

Yes…it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Christmas traffic that is…

Notice how every time we cross the mid-October threshold traffic increases like ten-fold??? It didn’t help much that today was also the start of a long weekend, plus it’s been raining like crazy so traffic was virtually at a standstill for so long. Oh, and of course, let’s not forget that since it’s the weekend, sales and bazaars were aplenty again today. I was amazed that not only store windows are lined with Christmas-y stuff like trimmings and ProFlowers Christmas decorations, even a street vendor I came across today carried those little plastic Christmas trees.

Well…like I said, I’m a bit Scrooge-y when it comes to Christmas, so all that was kinda challenging for me.

This is the one holiday, well the whole season all the way till New Years to be exact, that always manages to tap into a somewhat sad part of me. Don’t get me wrong…it’s not that I don’t see and find pleasure in the festivities of the season, because I still do. It’s just that the Christmas season brings back a lot of memories of people and things now gone that I miss to bits. Sometimes, I miss it so much I feel my heart breaking over and over again. It is the one time in the year that I miss these people and things the most. During the rest of the year, I do think of them, and smile fondly when I do, but during the holidays, it becomes a tugging ache in my heart.

This song says it all for me:

I guess the best word for how I feel about the holidays is bittersweet. On one hand, it reminds me of how blessed I am and how many wonderful things there are for me to be grateful for, but on the other, it also reminds me of what I don’t have and still long for. Okay, okay, I do recognize that that whole statement is kinda…self-indulgent and melodramatic, but isn’t that what emotions are after all? 😉 Seriously though, what I do like about the holidays is how it brings people together and fosters the happy spirit of giving (not necessarily material things but giving of one’s self). It is also a time when you really can appreciate the wonder of friendship, the joy of love, and the enduring strength of family. There is so much togetherness that is fostered in the holidays and to some degree, I do like that. However, because I am more of the introverted type of person (as unbelievable as that may seem), I thrive in just being by myself and with a select few. So all the togetherness and joy the holidays bring tend to take it’s toll on me. Again, it’s not that I don’t like it…I just can’t deal with too much of it. I guess in many ways, I feel overwhelmed by all the movement and energy, as well as the colors and the noise that the holidays bring.

See, told you it’s bittersweet.

Scrooge mode still on. At least for the moment.

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check out my other blogs! Fat Girl No More | Daydream Believer | Teacher Ria | OnADietDaw