i am woman, hear me rawr!

Home safety should go beyond just ensuring a family’s security from unwanted elements such as burglars or thieves. It goes beyond keeping their material possessions safe. It should extend beyond checking for fire hazards. Home safety and security should extend to ensuring that a family will live healthy in it.

This is a realization I gained as I read the news lately about Rachael Ray and her husband suing two home inspection companies for failing to spot water and mold damage in their high-priced Hampton estate. After paying a whopping $2.9 million dollars for the home, they discovered that it was infested with dangerous mold.

The thing with these home dangers is that they are not necessarily “noticeable” until health problems arise. Other health hazards that may be lurking at our homes are lead in the paints used (although for newer houses, this is less likely). Lead has been known to cause mental retardation in some cases. Other homes may have used asbestos for heating and insulation, which is known to be a cause for Mesothelioma cancer. Sometimes, even the things we add on to the home, such as decorative plants, are inadvertent health hazards especially if we are not careful about keeping it free from stagnant water which may breed mosquitoes that can lead to dengue fever.

In many ways, the Rays are lucky because they have the means to fight for their right to a safe and healthy home. Some other homeowners have not been as fortunate. Some have shelled out their entire life savings only to find that the home they worked so hard for ended up being a cause for heartache in the end.

I hope with this case more stringent measures are used to ensure that every home is going to be a healthy home.

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If I had to pick just one person I’d get to spend a day with anywhere in the world, I would have to say, hands down I would pick my Lolo. He has and always will be my hero and it dawned on me earlier today that this month marks the fourteenth year since he passed away.

I can still see that day in my head, the day he bid us farewell. That was the saddest and most painful day in my life.

Since he died, I have only dreamt of him twice, both on very trying times in my life. And in those dreams, he told me the same thing: it’s okay.

Today as I was sitting in front of my computer trying to force down my morning oatmeal, I saw him vividly in front of me and he said it once again, “It’s okay”. It was just so timely because lately I’ve been struggling with a lot of intrusive thoughts that make me question the direction of my life and what it is exactly I want for myself. More so, I’ve been questioning my competence a lot and feeling like a failure for not being able to finish my graduate studies, which is perhaps one of the few things I started but never really finished. Then he says, it’s okay…either way, it’s okay.

And with that, I think I can say, yes, I’m okay Read the rest of this entry »

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Okay…I know I started 2010 saying I will not go anywhere this year in the spirit of building a nest egg (also known as my so called savings) so I had no intention of going to any convention, workshop or summit outside of Metro Manila. However, given my dear friend Iris’ convincing powers, plus the fact that she booked a flight for me, I will be going to Iloilo this November! And take note: we won’t just be there for the summit, we’ll be in Iloilo for 5 long days I hope I get to go to the beach while I’m there!

Besides the fact that Iris booked the flight for me and let me pay for it via pay pal, one reason that convinced me to go was the Cebu Pacific promo. We got a pretty good deal, considering it covered everything from taxes to travel emergency insurance. It came out about Php 1,700 for everything. Not bad, right?

Are you going to the summit? See you there!!!

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In a recent movie premiere, my fellow movie bloggers got to see a preview of the upcoming Warner Bros. 3D movie, Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole. Sadly, I had work on the day of the screening so I missed it!

The film is directed by Zack Snyder, of Watchmen and 300 fame and is based on the Kathryn Lasky’s books, Guardians of Ga’Hoole.

These are the recently released banners of the characters and I can’t wait for the film to come out

In the meantime, come meet the Owls of Ga’Hoole:

Soren (voice of Jim Sturgess) — A young male Barn Owl enthralled by his father’s epic stories of the Guardians of Ga’ Hoole, a mythic band of winged warriors who had fought a great battle to save all of owlkind from the evil Pure Ones.  Soren was snatched by patrols from St. Aegolius Academy for Orphaned Owls.

Gylfie (voice of Emily Barclay) – A female Elf Owl, who is Soren’s best friend. She was snatched by patrols from St. Aggie’s after trying to fly before her wings had completely fledged.

Twilight (voice of Jay Laga’aia) – A male Great Grey Owl who claims that he taught himself everything about surviving (at the orphan school of tough learning),and was abandoned within hours of hatching.

Digger (voice of David Wenham) – A very smart tracking Burrowing Owl.  He was separated from his parents when owls from St. Aggie’s attacked his family.

Eglantine (voice of Emilie de Ravin) – A female Barn Owl, Soren’s beloved younger sister.

Kludd (voice of Ryan Kwanten) – A male Barn Owl, older, evil brother of Soren.

Nyra (voice of Helen Mirren) – An enigmatic female Barn Owl.

Metalbeak (voice of Sam Neill) – A mysterious male Barn Owl.

Coming soon to local theaters in 3D, this is definitely one to watch out for again! Legends of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole is distributed by Warner Bros. Pictures.

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It wasn’t long ago that fashion designers catered solely to small women with hardly any shape at all. A woman with curves couldn’t find designer clothes that fit her, and if she did they didn’t fit her well. Clothes would be tight in any areas that she had any curve at all, making them unattractive and uncomfortable. However, that is no longer the case.

Apple Bottoms by Nelly is a clothing line that caters to women of all shapes and sizes. The company realizes that even the smallest women have curves, and full-figure women deserve well-fitting designer clothes. The company’s motto, “apples come in all shapes and sizes,” is reflected in every piece of clothing the company designs. Whether you are looking for jeans, workout gear, clothes for the office or clothes for the dance clubs, they really do offer something for everyone.

If you are a full-figured woman, an Apple Bottom by Nelly encourages you to be proud of your curves. The company realizes that all women are beautiful and believes that instead of hiding curves, women should flaunt them. The designers believed in making a clothing line that helps women feel good and look good. Fortunately for all women out there, they succeeded.

When women hate their clothes, it reflects in their whole appearance. You need clothes that are comfortable, yet still give you that put-together look. Apple Bottoms recognizes womens’ needs and creates clothes that give you more than just coverage. You won’t have to worry about not looking complete, about ill-fitting garments or about clothes that fall apart easily. You finally have designer clothes that are tailored for your body, hold up well and ensure you look the way you want to look each and every time you walk out the door.

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In the past three months, I have been consumed by a restless stirring in me that I simply couldn’t place. It felt like I was on a roller coaster ride….soaring to great heights then free falling deep, deep down to a place where I was not sure of who I was anymore. I don’t know where it began, or how for that matter.

It started so quietly, so simply that I didn’t really realize what it was. It was a Dark Night of the Soul, coming to pay me a visit.

All I knew was that I was standing on shifting sands, once again losing my balance. I chalked it up to just a knee jerk reaction to things that were going on around me, both good and bad: from getting fitted for my best friends wedding, to viewing pictures of the other best friends twins…missing my so-called uncomplicated friend and he who still holds my heart…to getting the job of my dreams to somehow “losing” it…to opening up my heart, mind and soul to new experiences, people and things and having it change midway….to feeling like an intellectual failure and a loser for having gained almost all the weight I had lost in the past, struggling with my identity as a teacher, and being consumed once more by the green-eyed monster (and feeling guilty for feeling the way I did).

On the outside, it seemed like everything was okay. I even thought I was okay. But lately, I’ve been seeing myself shuffle between irritability, sadness, and faux happiness more and more. While there were real, authentic moments of pure bliss and happiness interspersed there, the foreboding feeling of doom was lingering.

I could hear it again…the quiet whispers of doubt, shame, fear, and emptiness. Yes….that quiet noise was back in my head and no matter how much I shushed it, it kept coming back. And yes, all that I was left with was feeling inadequate, unlovable and ick.

Then tonight  it hit me: I wasn’t paying attention.

I wasn’t paying attention to the beauty of the dark night that was surrounding me. I wasn’t paying attention to the calm around me. I wasn’t paying attention to ME.

Because I was letting things around me suck out all my energy and take over the balance I had created, and because I had lost sight of things and had allowed myself to value what others say, think or do more than the way I valued myself again, “I” got lost in the shuffle once again.  Because I got complacent, I began to forget about ME…the ME who had been gifted to me by those nights of darkness three years ago when we first met.

I had ignored her ominous warning, her reminder that while I am better, I still have things to work on. I ignored the warning signs and rather than sitting quietly in the dark and listening to what my soul was saying, I was fighting back, struggling hard to get out of the web I was trapped in. And once again, all I managed to do was get entangled in this.

Then I was reminded: fighting doesn’t work. As I learned the last time she came around: “The darkness, while it has dissipated, still comes every now and then. What I realize now is that fearing this darkness, or facing it head-on in battle, is not the solution. Rather, sitting quietly with it, honoring and respecting it’s purpose in my life, allows it to be a source of beauty and strength“.

And so tonight, I am sitting in the Dark and remembering that she is not the enemy. And what she is telling me is that I’m okay, no matter what others say

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I have a friend who works as a traveling physical therapist somewhere in the US. Every three to six months, she has to relocate from one area to another. At first it sounded like fun, but for me, I don’t think I can manage to live life on the move. For one, I like collecting stuff. Secondly, I like being familiar with places I am in and lastly, I do not do well with change! Can you just imagine if I had to lug myself back and forth and all around different cities and places? Oh my gosh!

Anyway, one thing she often has to contend with is finding the best movers to help her in her next relocation. She’s had good luck with various companies so far, but in a way, I guess it can cost a lot to keep traveling back and forth. Lucky for her she is not like me so she doesn’t really have much to move. I suggested she check out online companies to help find the best savings and deals for her needs, such as Billy.com. They have an online estimate calendar that allows you to gauge how much, for example, Austin relocation services would cost. They can also help you find the best movers for your location, such as San Antonio movers.

I hope next time she moves, it’s a move back to the Philippines. However, I know that is close to an impossibility!

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In the past few weeks, I have been struggling with this intense feeling of incompetence as a teacher, not because I can’t do my job well but for the mere fact that I do not have those elusive letters behind my name. The fact that I am an excellent teacher (wala nang kunya-kunyari pa…yes, I KNOW I am an excellent teacher) is always and forever will be overshadowed by the fact that research is really not something I want to do. Note that I say WANT and not CAN’T do. What makes having to struggle with this feeling of intellectual incompetence is when people tell me “madali lang yan” or “sayang ka naman if you don’t do it“.

Given what I know in psychology, intelligence and learning theories, isn’t it that we all have our own unique learning styles? As such, does this not translate to the fact that while others relish in discovering new things through research, I would rather live in an alternate learning field? One that is more practical, hands-on and meaningful to my learning style? I’d like to believe my non-traditional style has been highly effective and meaningful to the kids I teach, so why shouldn’t this be enough?

Please try to see it from this vantage point:

Miss Ria from the Flip Side….

• Good Teachers don’t all have to fit the same mold. Much like how Elle Woods proved that not all blonds are dumb and ditzy in the movie Legally Blond, I know there is more to becoming a good teacher than having a strong research orientation backing me.
• Creativity is just as important as “intelligence”. I put intelligence in quotations because I know intelligence comes in different forms, and each of them are equally important.
• Artistic expression and exploration is as important as scientific inquiry, albeit in a different way. Maybe others may not realize it, but I ask questions too and find the answers to these problems, but definitely in a very, very different way that is recognized by the world I live in. I may appear shallow and superficial at times, but trust me, there’s more to it than meets the eye.

Maybe one day, who knows, I may just manage to squeeze out some empirical ideas out of my intellectually incompetent brain. But in the meantime, I would very much let my heart soar as I continue to teach kids of all ages to love learning, and not just to learn for the sake of learning.

I too am competent in this world of teaching. Just in a different way.

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