A Question of Competence

In the past few days I have been struggling with the same thing I’ve been struggling with for the past seven years: my thesis.

I hate how it has the power to make me question my entire sense of competence and intelligence for that matter. In the many times I butt heads with these feelings, I tell myself that having those letters behind my name doesn’t make me a “better” person. For the most part, I am content without it but I know that in my line of work, it is a necessity, despite my personal perception of it being solely a formality. I do know, however, that it is more than just that. It’s just hard to believe in it and live it out, especially since I have always known that I “fell” into graduate studies.

I honestly had no intentions of going to grad school in the beginning. I would have perfectly been content to take Online Courses, particularly on creative writing or child development. However, it didn’t work out that way and while it has definitely been one of the best unintentional choices I have made in my life, at times I feel overly challenged by it.

Presently, I am at an intellectual impasse.


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